Me and My Ex-Partner Disagree: Who Makes Important Decisions About a Child After Separation?

Many parents assume that if they disagree about how to raise their child, the court will simply give one parent the authority to make all major decisions. Others believe that because there is conflict between the parents, joint decision-making is no longer possible.

In Ontario, neither assumption is necessarily correct. Courts do not decide decision-making responsibility based solely on which parent is “better” or whether the parents disagree. Instead, the overriding consideration is always the best interests of the child.

Does Conflict Automatically Mean One Parent Gets Sole Decision-Making?

No.

Courts recognize that many separated parents have disagreements. Conflict alone does not mean that one parent should be given exclusive authority to make important decisions.

Instead, the court looks at whether the parents have demonstrated an ability to make child-focused decisions and whether their disagreements have negatively affected the child’s well-being.

What Does the Court Consider?

Rather than focusing on isolated disagreements, courts examine the family’s history, including:

• Whether the parents have successfully made important decisions together;
• Whether parents can communicate well enough to address the child’s needs;
• Whether the child has been exposed to ongoing parental conflict; and
• Whether the child has been exposed to ongoing parental conflict; and

The court is concerned with how the parenting relationship functions in practice—not whether the parents have identical parenting styles.

Can Parents Share Decision-Making Even If They Disagree?

Yes.

Ontario courts have recognized that parents may hold different views about education, discipline, healthcare, or extracurricular activities while still being capable of sharing decision-making responsibility.

The key question is whether the parents can place their child’s interests ahead of their own disagreements. If they have demonstrated an ability to cooperate on significant decisions and protect their child from conflict, shared or parallel decision-making may still be appropriate.

When Will Sole Decision-Making Be Appropriate?

Sole decision-making may be necessary where parental conflict makes effective decisions impossible or where the child is repeatedly exposed to hostility between the parents.

For example, if important medical or educational decisions are consistently delayed because the parents cannot cooperate, or if conflict regularly affects the child’s well-being, a court may conclude that one parent should have final decision-making authority.

How The Cahill Firm Can Help

Every family is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to decision-making responsibility. At The Cahill Firm, we help parents develop parenting arrangements that reflect their child’s best interests while protecting each parent’s meaningful role in their child’s life. If you have questions about decision-making responsibility or parenting arrangements, our experienced family law team can help you understand your rights and options.